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SphEARS of Influence

Sep 21, 2023

Man is not an Island and the quality of our life is influenced by the people we share it with and the proximity they get to influence our decisions day to day.

The challenge is to make sure we are not only surrounding ourselves with the right people, it is also critical that we choose which ones we take which advice from. 

Take a moment to consider everyone in your life and how they fit within your Sphears of Influence. 

Yes, SphEARS because it's the people we speak and listen to consistently that are bringing us up or pulling us down in our results. 

Intimacy – Into Me I See – this person/people should be the closest and most accurate reflection of you. Ideally, this is your intimate partner, potentially close family, mentor, or best friend. These people must believe in you And with you and get to be a sounding board and have a say in all major decisions in your life as they are most directly influenced too. 

Inner Circle – these people are some of your greatest champions and cheerleaders. They believe IN you or With you in different areas of your life but perhaps not across all areas. They are often indirectly impacted by your decisions and can have a great sounding board capacity, great to bounce ideas off however be mindful about taking their advice because they may not understand the full ramifications of your decisions if they don’t believe in you. 

Outer friends – these people may have things in common but not necessarily share the same values or skill sets so should be valued for their company but not necessarily for their decisions. These people may not always have your best interests at heart especially if it negatively impacts their own. Some of these people only like you at your best, some of them only like you at your worst and their opinions should be considered this way. These people may be extended family or friends of friends that need to be kept in your life but shouldn’t feature in your day-to-day life as their values may not be the same as yours. Some people in this group I use as counter opinions because their values are so different to mine that if they are against an idea, I know I am on the right track! 

Acquaintances – these are people you see at work or social events but otherwise have very little in common with. These people may be very loud with their judgments and opinions but they have very little if any bearing on your own. Many of the people in this category would be happy to see you fail or don’t actually care at all so send kindness and let everything else go. 

As you go through your life and growth, pay particular attention to who you allow in each group. Spend time cultivating your Intimacy and Inner Circle group very carefully as these should be the people you spend most of your time and energy with so they will definitely impact your health, happiness, and overall success. It is also very important to allow people to move from categories when required dependent on your life stage and their behaviour. Do not get stuck taking advice from someone who started as an inner circle level as a tether above but then does not keep up with your growth and ends up beginning to hold you down. 

 As you are moving into the next phase of your mission, review everyone and where they sit in your circles so you can be sure that their impact on your future is valued appropriately. Who needs to be promoted? Who needs to be demoted? Who needs to be valued even more closely and thanked for their contribution to your life! 


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